Dear Universe...

I'm not sure if it would be possible to take this journey without stopping to consider vegetarianism as an option. I've always had an inkling that where our meat comes from is generally not good... but that's just the stuff you get at McDonald's right? The stuff from the grocery store should be fine... right? There's been this nagging voice in the back of my brain for a few years now, insisting that there is more to it than that. I can't ignore it any more. They say ignorance is bliss... but I think ignorance in our society, in this day and age, is simply a refusal to do better. Doing better takes too much effort, and we all have so much on our plates already.

Here's the thing though: I love meat. Now that alone is not enough to make me decide that it's ok to eat it. I love potato chips, and fast food, and french fries, not to mention a thousand other things I've recently given up, but I'm not eating them any more because I recognize the harm they are doing to me, to the planet and to society. So I must consider the possibility of giving up meat. This becomes problematic on a very basic level, as soy is one of the things I am trying to avoid. On the other hand, I know too much now to continue ignoring the issue. I've now read about, and seen footage of the conditions feedlot cows and chickens are kept in. I've seen the shit that passes for their food, not to mention the knee deep shit they stand in all day. I don't mean to sound dramatic when I say that I now look at the meat we eat and I see misery. I see not only the last remains of an unhappy existence, but also the dehumanization of the people who are responsible for providing us with this food.

The problem that runs far deeper than the soy issue is that I've tried out vegetarianism. I gave it a long, hard attempt while I was in India for two months a few years ago. I was eating some of my favourite foods, and some of the most delicious vegetarian meals I've ever tasted. But at the end of the two months I was craving meat so badly that I broke down and got a McChicken. I figured at least at McDonald's the meat had probably been refrigerated. I regretted it afterward, not because it made me sick (it didn't), but because I had broken down and eaten McDonald's in India.

I was discussing all this with hubby last week. He's been a really good sport about all this. He helps me look through ingredient lists in the supermarket. He watches for things he thinks I can have and will pick them up for me if I'm not around. He makes sure we always have fresh fruit and vegetables in the house. He's been making meals, according to my specifications in the slow cooker on a regular basis. But when I brought up the fact that I was starting to worry about the meat we were eating he looked at me in horror and asked "You're not going to become a vegetarian are you?" I laughed and told him I didn't think so. In fact, I think he would fare better as a vegetarian than I would. He had no problem getting through two months in India without meat.

So I've been mulling all this over in my head, trying to figure out what I'm going to do. I know that there are free range, grass fed options out there, I just had to look into them. Then I got home one night last week and hubby informed me that the guy who sells bison at the farmer's market called. We'd signed up last summer for a draw for some free bison, and had left our phone number. He'd called to let us know that he frequently does deliveries in our area and to ask if we'd be interested in having him come by our place. Hubby asked him if he only sold bison, or if he sold other meats as well, which he did. He went on to explain that all his meat was free range, grass fed, hormone and antibiotic free, etc. He has a refrigerated truck which he will pull up outside your home, so you can "shop" for whatever meat you would like without having to order ahead. I don't believe in coincidences. To me this was the universe's equivalent of sending me a letter: "Dear Shawn, you are on the right track. Keep up the good work. Much love, the Forces of the Universe." It could not be any clearer. My next steps are to switch to eating only free range, properly fed animals. It might sound contrary to everything I've just said, but I don't eat tons of meat as it is. My decision is to be a part time vegetarian; to only eat meat when I know where it comes from. That much I can manage.

"Dear Universe, thanks for the support. Much love, Shawn."