I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I do not believe in New Year’s resolutions. I believe that people can only truly make significant change when they are ready. That said, maybe for some leaving one year behind and starting “fresh” in a new year is the push they need to make those changes. Despite my resistance to resolutions I can’t help but find myself thinking about things I’d like to do differently at this time of year. It used to be that September provided this definition in my life – the changing of the calendar year was so much less significant than the changing of the school year. Maybe I just don’t want to call them resolutions, because we all know how easily we all discard our resolutions.
I managed to shift my thinking regarding weight a few years ago when I started this blog – I really did begin to believe that healthy eating was about healthy living, and not about being skinny. When I think back, that all started just after the New Year, two years ago. The biggest change of all has slowly crept in on me over the last few months. For the first time ever I can say (and mean it) that I really love my body. This is where I live – no matter where I go there is no escaping that. It is of no benefit to me to walk around hating my home.
These days hubs and I are still very conscientious about the contents of the food we consume. With the exception of condiments, we do not buy prepackaged foods. My mission from two years ago was a total success. It reframed our thinking about how we spend our food dollars and what we consume. Even though we don’t make our own mayonnaise from scratch, we do still take the time to read the ingredients and ensure we are buying one with a short list, and recognizable ingredients. So maybe I did make a "resolution" and keep it - I just didn't call it that.
In my last post I wrote about my car accident on the way to the cabin earlier this week. I said I’d keep you posted as I took stock of my life and set some new goals accordingly. So I asked myself the most obvious question I could think of – If you had died in that accident, what would you most regret never having done? It may seem a bit morbid, but it immediately popped a thought into my head. Well, two, but I’m not ready to talk about one of them just yet. The truth is that none of my regrets would have anything to do with eating that extra piece of chocolate, or enjoying those amazing meals with my family in Raleigh over Christmas. They don’t have to do with exercising more or weighing less. I didn’t even think for a second about those extra 10 minutes I spend in bed every morning instead of doing my hair. They had nothing to do with having more money or nicer things. My job, which I do not like very much at all, didn’t even flicker across my mind. I know none of this is revelatory – we are constantly seeing trite quotes about how in the end none of these things will matter - and yet I do spend a tremendous amount of time and energy thinking about these things every day. The truth is I probably still will, and in some cases I should. I want to be healthier and feel happier in my job, I guess I just need to recognize that there are things that I hold dearer in my heart.
Ok, so I’m sure you’d like to hear about the thing I DID think of – I’d regret never having attempted to publish a novel. I wrote one about 10 years ago, which I love and am very proud of; but it will never see the light of day, because that story belongs to me and I do not feel the need to share it. But I would truly regret never having tried to write something and put it out into the world.
So why don’t I write anymore? Okay, well to be fair I do – I scribble things down all the time- bits of blog posts that may or may not ever see the light of day, pieces of stories that come to me out of thin air, character descriptions that live in the shadows of my thoughts. Then there are the million and one things that never even make it onto paper because I was at work, or on the bus , or out for dinner, or just simply didn’t have any means to record them. Aha! There’s the key – the means to record them, and moreover, not lose them! Almost every note book, phone book, sketch book, electronic device, etc. I’ve ever owned has some piece of this puzzle scribbled in the margins.
It’s so obvious – I need somewhere I can store these thoughts at a moment’s notice, where they can all be found in one place and reassembled easily – yeesh, I need a laptop (or maybe a netbook for portability?). Ok, so my goal for January is to obtain something small that I can type on (keyboard, not screen) – those are really my only requirements.
Oh, and as to my New Year’s resolution for 2013 – I’m going to take up running. I’ll let you know how that goes ;)
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